


Villain Club

by ShallowGenePool



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Fluff and Crack, M/M, Steve in Disguise with Glasses, Supposed to be Date Night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 21:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9404594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShallowGenePool/pseuds/ShallowGenePool
Summary: It was supposed to be Date Night, but Loki mentioned they had to stop off somewhere first..





	

**Author's Note:**

> A crack-fuelled plot bunny..

"Couldn't you have done this on another night? It's Date Night, and we don't get much time together as it is, what with our jobs.." Steve grumps, not at all impressed with having to come to the really shady end of town.

Not when, _in Steve's most humble opinion_ , they could have been sat down in that wonderful little Italian place not two blocks over from their mostly-secret apartment, eating the best pasta Steve has ever tasted. His stomach gives a gurgle at the mere thought of that most perfect lasagna.

"Darling, I am sorry. If I could have rearranged I would have, I promise." Loki states, sounding as placating as possible. A wise choice as a hungry Steve is a snarky Steve after all.

"Fine." Steve's tone making it sound that it's anything but. "Just so we're clear. You owe me an extra movie after this."

Loki gives an almost soundless sigh and nods at his other half. "Of course, darling." Loki murmurs as he pats Steve's forearm in a placating manner.

"None of that modern stuff either." He states a little mulishly, because if they are watching anything it's going to be a classic.

"As you wish." Loki gives the smallest of bows.

Steve rolls his eyes and heaves another small put-upon sigh before they make their way over to a rickety table holding the refreshments for the evening. Though as far as Steve is concerned, _refreshments_ would be an overly generous term as the sole contents of the table appear to be two large thermos bottles most likely filled with tepid water, a half finished plastic bottle of skim milk (Oh the heresy!) and a pair of canisters helpfully marked up with 'Tea' and 'Coffee'.

Steve tuts, taking a long hard look and rolls his eyes towards the ceiling, before proceeding to make Loki the best cup of tea possible with such inferior ingredients.

"Thank you." Loki states as he accepts the paper cup, before taking a sip and grimacing.  He puts it down on the table top and then swiftly looks about the room. Whilst he does so, Steve takes a moment to self-consciously adjust his glasses and baseball cap.

"How long do we have to stay?" Steve asks a little sullenly as he picks at the edge of the Formica table top in a slightly passive-aggressive manner.

"Not long, I just need to show my face for a few minutes, a little bit of chat-chat, you know? Like one of those parties Stark insists on holding.. and never inviting me to." Loki scowls a little.

"Well, you were the one that insisted on keeping things quiet. If you gave up on this kind of stuff, we could tell _everyone_." Steve pouts a little, giving big sincere eyes to Loki from underneath his baseball cap.

Loki looks about ready to cave at any moment and possibly take Steve off to that little restaurant for some much needed food. Unfortunately, this is swiftly derailed by the untimely presence of a stocky looking man wearing glasses so thick they look to have been sawed off the bottom of coca-cola bottles and as Steve looks at the man, he finds his face slightly familiar. It's only when he looks to the man's pocket and spots a helpfully placed name badge that he makes the connection.

"Otto Octavius?" Steve mumbles under his breath. "Seriously? That's who's leading your Chapter? Geez Lo', scraping the bottom of the barrel much?" Steve quips.

Loki barks out a small laugh at Steve, but cuts it off as the man gets right into their personal space.

"Loki." The doctor hisses out. "What do you think you are doing? Bringing an outsider here." He gives a most disapproving tut and Steve gives the man the stink-eye whilst clenching his fists. The man deserves a good talking-to for speaking to guests in such a fashion, but then again if he's being honest he hadn't set the bar too high for the other company Loki seems to keep.

"Otto, my apologies." Though from his tone, Steve can tell his Lovebug isn't sorry in the slightest and fights the urge to smile. "We had other plans this evening, it's not as if.. Grant will be getting in the way." Loki grouses.

Steve wrinkles his nose a little, wondering if Grant really suits him, even though it _is_ his middle name. The action causes his glasses to slip a little and he pokes them back into place, giving a bland smile to the doctor.

"Do we have to go through this again?" The man asks, though he gives no time for an answer. "The first rule of Villain Club." He pauses, presumably for dramatic effect. "No one talks about Villain Club."

There are a few murmurs in the background of people mumbling along with the man, people that have wisely hung back for fear of getting dragged into the conversation and Steve can feel their pain. Loki wisely keeps quiet, and Steve wonders if this is going to take a while as it feels like their plans are becoming a dim and distant memory.

His stomach makes a protesting gurgle at the thought.

"The second rule of Villain Club." The man continues, blatantly ignoring Steve completely and only looking at Loki. "Care to remind everyone of what that is?" He looks down his nose at Loki as he says it.

Steve's urge to put the man through the wall for speaking to his Significant Other in such a fashion begins to rise, and it's only Loki pulling himself up to full height and glaring the other man into submission that cools his temper. The sneaky hand dipping into Steve's back pocket and cupping his buttock gently might also have been a contributing factor for this.

Loki mutters beneath his breath and even having super hearing and being so close, Steve has no clue of what he just said.

"A little louder for the rest of the room, if you would." The man states as patronising as ever.

Loki glares, though it doesn't seem to cow the man this time.

"The second rule of Villain Club. No bringing your Significant Other to Villain Club." Loki glares harder. "It's a stupid rule."

Steve couldn't agree more, though Villain Club in general to him is stupid. Especially when they could be elsewhere, such as a cinema or a restaurant, or perhaps on riding on Steve's motorcycle, Loki holding on to Steve so tightly as they take a ride upstate.. His hands roaming under Steve's jacket as they..

Those thoughts swiftly derailed by the Chapter leader and all-round-cock-block, making excessive throat clearing and Steve flushes before scowling at him from behind his glasses.

Things take an interesting turn, as at that point that the door swings open and thuds against the wall, both of them shuddering slightly from the impact and there _silhouetted in the doorway_ and decked out in his red and black garb is Loki's group's resident expert in tomfuckery.

Steve silently scolds himself for thinking such language and then drops his forehead onto Loki's shoulder, just willing this to be over with as soon as possible.  It's not to be, as the man swaggers into the room, humming to himself before he realises everyone is staring at him.

"Hello, you lovely lovely people. Erik, looking good, you silver fox, you." Wade states, winking at.. _Magneto_ of all people, and who gives the bare minimum of a nod in return. "Vic, babe, rocking the cape as always. Otto, nice.. err.. glasses." He states looking in the direction of what appears to be Victor von Doom and then Otto Octavius respectively before turning towards Loki.

"Loki, my main man.. and _holy fuck_! Is that St-" Thankfully he gets no further before Loki slaps a hand over the part of the cowl where the man's mouth should be and Steve's head shoots up from Loki's shoulder and his eyes widen comically at the thought of his cover being blown. Does that man not realise that Steve's here _incognito_?

Loki clears his throat awkwardly for a moment, shooting Wade the dirtiest of looks.

"This, Wade, is _Grant_. Grant is evil, aren't you _Grant_?" Loki states in a rather commanding tone that sends messages to Steve's nether regions and distracts him a little. It's not until he gets a nudge in the side that he looks over, where his other half is giving him big green puppy dog eyes and a slight pout playing on those soft pink lips and it's then that Steve realises that he's being asked to pretty please play along.

Steve gives a slight shake of the head in exasperation and a tuts in annoyance, the things he does for his man, who swiftly pulls a disgusted face a moment later when it appears that Wade has tried to lick his hand through the cowl.

Steve gives a little huff. "Hi, I'm.. Grant and I'm evil. Umm.. Hail Hydra."

Not exactly the most convincing of introductions and Steve catches Loki rolling his eyes at him, the chances are already slim of them getting out of this as the others are looking at them suspiciously, only for Wade to take advantage of the distraction to spin slightly, knocking Steve's glasses from his face.

"Oh, sorry. Don't mind me, regular butterfingers today!" Wade states brightly. "Hey, Grant.. You look so much like my pal, _Steve_. Don't you think he looks like Steve, Loki?"

"Wade!" Loki hisses as the entire room becomes extremely fascinated with the goings on.

"'m not your pal, Wade." Steve growls, looking to Loki before noting the rest of the room has dropped to a deathly silent level and wondering how long it is until the crap hits the fan.

"Hey! It _is_ Steve!" Wade states proudly. "Hey, if Loki gets to bring Steve, I want to bring Petey." Wade shouts out and the murmuring in the room increases again and Steve pinches the bridge of his nose, wondering how he gets himself into these situations.

"If Wade gets to bring someone, I think I should be able to being Charles." Magneto declares. "No one complained about those lovely scones he made that I brought with me last time."

Steve and Loki must synchronise the rolling of their eyes at the increasing level of insanity surrounding them and Loki takes the chance to move them slightly in the direction of the door as the volume of noise now going on all around them changes pitch. Steve feels something crunch beneath his foot and as he lifts his size ten boot, he pouts a little at his now broken glasses.

Loki must take pity on him as his glasses fly into the hands of the man in question, knitting themselves together as he moves to put them back on Steve's face.

"Don't do it, man. Don't cover his pretty eyes. One look into them and I bet any guy would be prepared to turn over a new leaf." Wade reaches out and tries to goose Steve, only to get two people smack his hand away. "Well, that and a chance to tap that ass as well. Mmm."

"Try it, and I will eviscerate you, Wilson." Loki snarks, pulling Steve close, as Steve states quite loudly that the only person ever going near his ass will be his fiance. The sheer _nerve_ of the man.

"Silence!" Doom booms out. "Doom will have order! Shame on you all. Shame!" The man's eyes glowering at them all through the metal mask. "Your stupidity, Trickster, thinking Doom would not be able to tell you have brought a hero into our midst." He spits out the word intended to mean Steve. "And Erik, Doom thought better of you."

Steve expects to see Loki looking shamefaced, but if anything the man look incandescent with rage.

"Really Victor? Really?" Loki challenges. "This from the man sleeping with both Reed _and_ Sue Richards."

Steve blinks once, twice.

"Oh geez." Steve mumbles, looking slightly green. "There is such a thing as too much information."

"Agreed, darling." Loki says, giving a small nod. "But what can be done?" He gives a seemingly helpless shrug.

"See what you have done, Trickster? Foolish creature." Doom mutters, the whole room seemingly arguing amongst themselves. "Nothing but trouble as always."

Steve brushes an arm against Loki's and gives a small squeeze of support, because Steve certainly wouldn't tolerate this sort of behaviour at any of Stark's parties, _no siree_.

"If you feel that way Victor, then I think we shall take our leave as we appear to have worn out our welcome." Loki turns, pulling Steve with him towards the door. "Don't think I shall forget this treatment."

His tone, again so commanding, leaves Steve feeling a little like he did the first time he saw Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh in Gone With The Wind, his eyes a little glazed and rather breathless. Though he can't blame the latter on his asthma _this_ time.

When no one seems to comment, Steve meets Loki's eyes and there's a definite flare of interest and Steve finds himself moving at a fair clip out of the building, swiftly before the spell that seems to have fallen over the rest of the group is broken.

"That was.. You were.." Is as far as Steve gets before he's dipped slightly and then kissed deeply, the pair of them only breaking the kiss when the shortage of air becomes an issue.  And if he happens to make a slight squeaking noise when Loki's hand gives his butt a firm squeeze, well that's staying between the pair of them.

"Mmm.. Well, darling, it appears that we are at a loose end, whatever shall we do now?" Loki asks, his eyebrow arching in a rather fetching way that gives Steve's imagination a few pointers.

"Hmm, well you do owe me dinner and a movie." His stomach gives a small protesting rumble. "Tell you what. After dinner, if you take me to see a double feature and buy me popcorn, I'll let you cop a feel and we can make-out in the back row of the cinema."

The blinding smile he gets from Loki in return says it all.

 

**FIN.**


End file.
